Don't

take a inquisitive 6 year old to the store with you to buy condoms or you might have this conversation.

In the car Sunday
Tristan "Where are we going?"
Me "To the drug store and blah, blah, blah"
T "Why are we going to the drug store?"
M "To get some things that I need"
T "What do you need?"
M "Just some things"
T "What kind of things?"
M (ok I'll tell him maybe he'll drop it) "some condoms"
(Nope not happening)
T "What are condoms"
M "They are to keep me from getting pg again"
T "Why don't you want to get pg again?"
(Woooo Hoooo he's distracted from the condoms)
M "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah"
T "Are they a pill?"M "What????"
T "Are the condoms a pill?
M "No."
T "Do you have to take it every day?"
M "They're not a pill"
T "Is it some medicine?"
M "No"
T "Do you have to take it every day?"
M "No, they aren't medicine"
T "What are they?"
M "It's something you wear, lookoverthereisn'tthatcool"
(phew he's distracted)
(NOPE)
In the store VERY VERY LOUDLY
T "what are we getting here again?"
M shushing "Condoms"
T loudly "Are those condoms?"
M " Shhhh,Yes"
T loudly "How do they keep you from getting pg?"
M "Let's talk about this in the car"
In the car again
T "Can we open them so I can see?"
M "No, because if we open them they are ruined."
T "What do they look like?"
M "Ummmmm, a sock???"
T "A SOCK!! Do you wear them on your feet????"
M "No."
T "Do you wear them on your hands?"
M "No"
T (incredulously)"Do you wear them on your head????"
M (trying not to laugh) "No, Tristan, where do you want to eat lunch? (trying for the distraction again)
T (Not happening) "Where do you wear them"
M sigh "I don't wear them, Daddy does, remember it takes a mommy and a daddy to have a baby."
T ''Daddy wears them??" giggle
T "where does daddy wear them?"
M God this kid is relentless "What do boys have that girls don't"
T "I don't know."
T "Oh, a penis......................"
T "Daddy wears them on his penis????"
T hysterical laughter

At Wendy's 10 minutes later, he's finally stopped laughing.
As we get out of the car
T "On his penis" hysterical laughter again

At home 2 hours later
T "Daddy, we got you something to wear on your penis." hysterical laughter
Monday
T "Mommy we got daddy those things to go on his penis" laughter

Tuesday when we have 4 teenage girls that used to be our neighbors over using our pool

T to the teenagers "Hey, we got daddy something to wear on his penis the other day, Mommy, what were those things called again?"
M "Condoms, Tristan."
T "Oh yeah, condoms, to wear on his penis" laughter

Today
T "Mommy where did we put those things for daddy to put on his penis"
M "Away, Tristan."
T under his breath while giggling "on his penis"

OMG he has gotten 4 days of laughter out of that trip and I think I have been traumatized for life.

ROFLMBO

I wrote this 4 days after it happened, it has been a couple of weeks now and today I heard him talking to Dria about it. OMG it will never die.

Tony doesn't think it's funny anymore and says that I should never have told him all of that. He says that I should have said, "Don't worry about it, it doesn't concern you." But I believe very strongly in answering my children's questions. To me it is a part and parcel of homeschooling and encouraging their love of learning.

So even though I love Tony to death and truly believe that he is my soulmate, in this we disagree as we do in many things. Oh well.