Holy Guacamole It's been a while

I haven't been on here for a long time because of a crazy schedule doing nothing worth posting about. LOL

I also haven't been losing any weight, partially because I went on the pill in June and I always gain when I go on the pill, but mostly because I have had no self control. I really don't like how I look or feel now though, so I really need to get back on the band wagon. I think that I probably weigh as much, if not more now than I did when I started my whole weight loss program last summer. I don't even want to know, ugh.

I need to get in the right mind space and it all should fall back into place. But, that is always the hardest part of weight loss for me. I can think of ten thousand things I'd rather do than exercise and I have a really hard time talking myself out of the junk food.

Ahh well soon I hope. I'm not going to lie to myself or you and say that I'm going to start now. So soon.

Weight Loss Wed

Well I finally lost some of the weight I gained back at the end of June. I know I didn't post updates but it was just too depressing I gained 11.6 pounds in one week and it has taken me nearly a month to lose 4 of those pounds. I am now 165.4 a place I've been several times before.

I am completely baffled by my weight gain/loss. There seems to be no rhyme or reason and now I am fighting an uphill battle due to starting the pill which always makes me gain about 10 pounds in my boobs. Not that I think that my boobs can get much bigger and I will still be able to walk upright.

Anyway all I can do is continue to try and also try not to get completely discouraged.

Oh and Tony, I tried to "stop worrying about it so much" and that completely didn't work so I think I'll do it my way.

I've had enough

Tony and I talked last night and he told me that he is worried for my health. He believes that everyone in my life just keeps dumping more stuff on me. Add that to my worry for my grandma and he thinks that if I continue on this way I am going to end up in the hospital. The worst of it all is that I seem to have no patience with my beloved kidlets.

Tony told me that I need to tell my family of origin that I am done and to back off. I can't do that because I am at the end of my rope. I can not handle even a little more right now and I am terrified that if I stand up to my foo they are all going to be angry with me. Now, I could handle some anger if it was kept at a distance and not made my problem but, that is not how my foo operates. If someone is upset or angry I am expected to fix it. They bring it right up into my face and basically won't back off until I apologize and make it right by going back to the way things have always been. My mom always says that I am the peace keeper in the family, and I am, but not of my own choosing. That is the role that I am constantly shoved in to. I hate conflict with my foo because I can never win.

So starting Sunday I will not be taking any calls from anyone except Tony. I am planning to change my message on my voice mail to "For health reasons I have decided to take a hiatus from all phone activity, please do not leave a message for me to deal with later. If you absolutely must contact me call Tony and he will give me a message." Then I am going to turn my phone off for a minimum of 2 weeks.

Weight LOSS Wednesday

Wooo Hooo!! I finally lost again. And I lost big. I am 10 lbs down and am now 157.8. Thanks I am sure to the three days of Pilates.

Weight Gain Wednesday, again

sigh, 167.8 up 4.2 from last week, seriously. I have no idea.

Weight Loss Wednesday

Last week I did weigh but forgot to post, I gained 1.4 and was 168. blah

This week though I lost 4.4 and am now 163.6. I think that is the lowest I've been since I got on this roller coaster. So hopefully I'll keep going down,

I've decided that my weight loss is totally random. It doesn't seem to have any rhyme or reason. I exercise lots and I gain I eat like a pig and hardly exercise and I lose.

And it's a Weight Gain Wednesday again

I am now 166.8 or 166.6 my scale was weird this morning. Up 2.6 or 2.4 from last week. Argh. I don' t know what to say. I've been doing lots of walking and have even ridden my bike a couple of times.

Weight Loss Wed

This week I actually lost. I am now 164.2 down 9.8 lbs from last week. This week I still walked but not nearly as much as I did last week. I am completely baffled.

Weight Gain Wed

I gained 5.8 lbs it is insane. I have been careful of what I eat and I walked 7.5 miles this week and I gained 5.8 lbs. Arggggg. Today I weigh 174 lbs. That's it. I'm going to be fat forever. Seriously 5.8 lbs.

Weight loss Wed a week and a day late

On the 23rd I was 172.8 so a gain of 2.8. PMS strikes again.

Yesterday I was 168.2 a loss of 4.6. So with Spring and exercise outside I'm going the right way again. Hopefully by the time I have to wear a swimming suit regularly I won't be ashamed to be seen in one.

Weightt Loss Wednesday, revisited

I weighed for the first time in over a month, this morning and I am now 170lbs. I gained a few pounds, but that is ok because I haven't been good at all. I am now back on track and my sister and I have started doing pilates.

Happy First Birthday Monkey

My baby is one today.

It always amazes me that someone can go from this

to this

In one year, a mere 12 months, 365 days. Amazing.

Weight Loss Wednesday

Nothing, Nada, Zero, Zilch I weigh exactly the same today as I did last week. That will be all.

Weight Loss Wed

I know I skipped a week here. It's not because I didn't weigh. It was because I didn't want to talk about it.

Last week I gained and I still don't want to talk about it so on to this week.

I lost!!! I am now at 166.8 down a few from last week (no I'm not going to say how much, that would be talking about it). That makes me down 1.6 from the last weigh in I'm willing to talk about.

I'm getting there but I am not going to get to pre-preg by Little T's birthday next week so my new goal is 150 by my birthday, March 27th. That is just over 2 pounds a week which is completely doable.

Weight loss update

Today I weigh 168.4 so a gain of 2.6. All I have to say about that is PMS sucks when you are trying to lose weight. Enough said. Back on track for next week.

Weight Loss Wed

Today I decided that I need to get back on the weight loss bandwagon. After resigning myself to a huge gain I weighed and........................... I lost 10.4 pounds!!@!

WOOOOOO HOOOOOO! I ran out of the bed room screaming and the kidlets were all saying "what? what?" I was too busy celebrating to answer, so Bubby said, "I think she saw a mouse." LOL They are just too cute.

Anyway I am now down to 165.8 a 10.4 pound loss.

I don't know if I want to go back to working on it since my biggest loss came after I really completely disregarded all things weight loss. Of course I had one of the most stressful months of my life and if I'd weighed last week I probably would have weighed less that I do now. OK, OK nose back to the grindstone. I am nearly back to pre preg now. Just another 10 pounds and just under a month to my goal day (Little T's b-day).

So here I go!!!!